LIBRARIAN
I know we’re down one but we still got three
Each and every one of them, a gem, unique
Each with a certain style that suits your personality
And where you wanna go just depends on where you wanna be

And you can go to any one
It doesn’t matter what you study doesn’t matter where you’re form
It’s just a way to deal with the reality you face
Whether studying or reading or staring into space

And getting a book it’s not that hard
All you really need is a One Card
You go online and you take your pick from
The Five College Catalog just one click

To request item are we on the same page
Monday through Friday it only takes a day or two
The staff ensure that the book you get
Is the very same book that you request

They put it in a van and they take it for a ride
They bring it to Young and they put it on the side
For you to pick up at your leisure
Whether for research or pleasure

PLAINTIFF
They’re gonna try to make me look like I’m fucked
A user, abuser, a nut or a slut
They’re gonna try to break me down, drag me through the slumming mud
Spit in my eye, make me wanna really die, wish I had an alibi

To be honest I am terrified,
Of all the thing they’re gonna say even if unverified
Lay it on a hook for me to take the bait
Open up a book my whole life to annotate

I am the woman you see on the screen
I’m sweet, gentle, calm and clean
And I have seen some trouble and I can be mean
But I’ve still got a soul and I’m still a human being

I’ve got a history, I’ve known real misery
I’ve have had my share of damn fine ecstasy
I struggled with my mental health as a kid and adult
Notches in my bedpost and lots of notches in my belt

I can’t lie, I’ve got a few skeletons,
But holy hell take a look at those elephants
You think I’m the problem? An assault on intelligence
I object on grounds of relevance

LIBRARIAN
And now let’s talk about the woman who has
a paper due at midnight and now it’s half past
three o’clock on the day that it’s due
Where you gonna go? What you gonna do?

You’re gonna go to our site, the one right there
Look in the upper right you see the button that’s there?
The one that says “Ask Us” as in a question
It’s full of good answers and suggestions

Or send us an email, we’ll hit you back
Just describe the problem and tell us where you’re at
Or give us a call, yo, you know on the phone
We’ll be sure to hook you up with someone who knows

The answer to any question that you have
But if it’s down to the wire and you need help fast
Just come on in and we’ll walk you through
Or make an appointment yeah that’s good too,

PLAINTIFF
This ideology is not what it seems
The end you use to justify being mean
I’ve watched you engage in debilitating teens
Prey upon young adult angst and anxieties

I fight my battles with the best of intentions
Gotta keep going now I’ve got their attention
Keep saying all the things they don’t want me to mention
While they go on living in an alternative dimension

It’s not an accident that I’m the one to speak
Always been a little weird, always been a freak
I’ve struggled hard to heal always been a squeaky wheel
I detect the artifice, and the bullshit in any deal

So now you know it all, my foibles and my trauma
But I have a good heart and I am a good mama
And I did nothing to deserve this drama
Brought upon me solely for my skin color

LIBRARIAN
Special Collections there are three parts
Repositories that comprise the heart
Of the history that we all share
As women as sisters as humans who care

The Sophia Smith Collection has a lot of cool shit
Months, years, centuries of it
The college archives, you know what’s there?
Smith College stuff, the history of who when and where

And rare books, you know the written word
The name is Mortimer I don’t know if you heard
The collection is deep the collection is wide
From medieval manuscripts to literary archives

Find it all in Young or just go online
In particular the oral histories are really fine
Feminists, people of color, reproductive advocates,
women of valor and the social justice activists

PLAINTIFF
I know some of you think how oh very very
To make a rap song about a library
Was a little bit ballsy for a middle-aged Mary
You thought it was cringe but au contrary

You have no idea what it took to make me talk
To place my middle-aged neck upon that block
Instead of standing around staring at the clock
I got busy getting honest with myself and with God

Someone had to say it, up and spit it out
Probably wouldn’t have done it I had more clout
More money to lose and a much bigger house
A lot more debt and a lot more self doubt

And I don’t know if I can pull it off
With their billions of dollars, the attorney they’ve got
But I know what I am and I know what I’m not
I’m not your shill and I can’t be bought

LIBRARIAN
I bet you didn’t think know I bet you didn’t figure
That the fun stuff here would so absolutely glimmer
We got movies, news, fashion magazines
We got language learning software so you can make the global scene

And on your laptop the movies people love
Indies, dramas, stuff you never heard off
Swank is where you go for the Hollywood flicks
Canopy for when you need a documentary fix

Or read about the world in all our magazines
Mother Jones, the Atlantic, Glamour and Bon Apetit
Rolling Stone, Ebony and Vanity Fair we even got the New Yorker
Are any of you from there?

And more good news we got the Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer
We really got the most stunning collection from all around the world
From urban cosmopolitan to absolutely rural

Or maybe no news, skip the magazines,
Maybe comic books or graphic novels are your scene
We got plenty of this, plenty of that
‘Cause Smith Libraries

PLAINTIFF
Yeah, it’s like that.